A thing of beauty, strength and grace lies behind that whiskered face.

A lively mind, strength and grace lie behind that whiskered face.  (modified by tomcat)

 

Cat: A lapwarmer with a built-in buzzer.

If you are worthy of its affection, a cat will be your friend, but never your slave.  (Theophile Gautier)

As every cat owner knows, nobody owns a cat.  (Ellen Perry Berkeley)

God created the human so the cat would have a can opener.

God has created the cat to give man the pleasure of caressing the tiger.  (Theophile Gautier)

In the ancient times cats were worshipped as gods. They have not forgotten this.

I love cats because I enjoy my home; and, little by little, they become its visible soul.  (Jean Cocteau)

 

I am indebted to the cat for a particular kind of honourable deceit, for a greater control over myself, for a characteristic aversion to brutal sounds, and for the need to keep silent for long periods of time.  (Colette)

 

The playful kitten with its pretty little tigerish gambols is infinitely more amusing than half the people one is obliged to live with in the world.  (Lady Sydney Morgan)

 

A cat can be trusted to purr when she is pleased, which is more than can be said for human beings.  (William Ralph Inge)

 

A happy arrangement: many people prefer cats to other people, and many cats prefer people to other cats.  (Mason Cooley)

 

A cat doesn’t understand the concept of “command”. But may take a suggestion, if it looks like there’s something in it for her.

 

Essentially, you do not so much teach your cat as bribe him.  (Lynn Hollyn)

 

Your cat is always on the lookout for a better deal.  (Wendy Christensen)

Anything on the ground is a cat toy.  Anything not there yet, will be.

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Homeowner has the word meow in it.

 

There are two means of refuge from the misery of life - music and cats.  (Albert Schweitzer)

Cats are like music.  It's foolish to try to explain their worth to those who don't appreciate them.

 

Happiness is like a cat purring on your lap. You can’t force it to come to you, you can’t force it to stay with you, and it may suddenly get up and go.  (modified by tomcat)

 

People that hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.  (Faith Resnick)

 

I'm not much of a cook.  My favorite thing to make from scratch is a purr.

 

If a cat does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing, for the same reason, we call it intelligence.  (Will Cuppy)

 

The cat seldom interferes with other people's rights.   His intelligence keeps him from doing many of the foolish things that complicate life.  (Carl van Vechten)

I have found my love of cats most helpful in understanding women.  (John Simon)

 

I have studied many philosophers and many cats.  The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior.  (Hippolyte Taine)

 

If you want to be a psychological novelist and write about human beings, the best thing you can do is keep a pair of cats.  (Aldous Huxley)

 

The cat: an animal that's so unpredictable, you can never tell in advance how it will ignore you the next time. (Evan Esar)

A cat will sit washing his face within two inches of a dog in the most frantic state of barking rage, if the dog be chained.  (Carl van Vechten)

 

Law of Cat Motion:  A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction.

Law of Cat Magnetism: All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.

 

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.  (Groucho Marx)

 

Curiosity was framed.  Ignorance killed the cat.

 

Never play cat and mouse games if you're a mouse.  (Don Addis)

 

When the mouse laughs at the cat, there is a hole near by. (Nigerian proverb)

A cat has enormous patience for things that interest her and no patience whatsoever for things that don’t.

 

Rule of Feline Frustration:  When your cat has fallen asleep on your lap and looks utterly content and adorable, you will suddenly have to go to the bathroom.

 

A cat is always at the wrong side of the door.

Most cats, when they are out want to be in, and vice versa, and often simultaneously.  (Dr Louis J Camuti)

 

Beauty is in the eyes of the cat-holder.  (laroza)

 

A creature that never cries over spilt milk: a cat.  (Evan Esar)

 

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

 

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?  (Steven Wright)

To err is human, to purr feline.  (Robert Byrne)

 

 

Cats v Dogs

 

Cats rule, dogs drool.

 

Dogs are smart enough to understand human commands. Cats are smart enough to ignore them.

 

Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are god.  (Christopher Hitchens)

 

Every dog has his day - but the nights are reserved for the cats.

 

Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.

 

Everyone needs a dog to adore him, and a cat to bring him back to reality.

 

A dog is a man's best friend.  A cat is a cat's best friend. (Robert J Vogel)

 

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would never stoop to admitting it.  (Doug Larson)

 

You can’t let sleeping dogs lie if you let the cat out of the bag.  (“Yes, Prime Minister”)

 

 

Quotes by tomcat
(If you use them, please attribute them to "tomcat")

 

A cat is clever, clean, cool, quiet, cute, cuddly.

If a group of lions is a pride, a group of cats should be a majesty.

Man is the last species on earth entitled to call the cat egocentric.

 

Man's purpose of existence is to serve cats.

Cat's purpose of existence is to provide man with purpose of existence.

​

If it weren't for cats, god wouldn't have given humans a lap.

 

There are two kinds of people: Those who love cats and those who ought to love cats.

 

Mother Nature will provide the optimum weapons for survival: A young kitten is lovable, an adult cat agile and an old cat cunning.

The friendship of a cat is worth more than that of a dog, because you have to earn it.

A cat is far better than a woman as a companion, as he is quiet, undemanding, cheap to keep and does not want to run your life for you.

The difference between a cat and a woman is that in the case of a cat, a pussycat can't turn into a bitch.

Beauty is cat fur deep.